


IOU

by Pebblesong7



Series: Bad things happen bingo [8]
Category: 9-1-1: Lone Star (TV 2020)
Genre: Abuse, Bad Things Happen Bingo, Domestic Violence, Emotional Manipulation, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Extremely Dubious Consent, Hurt No Comfort, Hurt TK Strand, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Abuse, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, M/M, Manipulation, Manipulative Relationship, Rape/Non-con Elements, Sexual Abuse, TK Strand Needs A Hug, Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-17
Updated: 2021-03-17
Packaged: 2021-03-25 18:54:56
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,963
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30093591
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pebblesong7/pseuds/Pebblesong7
Summary: TK gets caught in an abusive relationship.
Relationships: Carlos Reyes/TK Strand, Marjan Marwani & TK Strand, TK Strand/Original Male Character(s)
Series: Bad things happen bingo [8]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2184204
Comments: 17
Kudos: 130





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This story is going to involve heavy themes of emotional, sexual, and physical abuse. There is an abusive relationship and characters who are not able to reach out for help. If these themes make you uncomfortable please do not read. This is partially based on a real experience as a way of venting. 
> 
> Take care of yourselves. If you are in a relationship with anyone even slightly similar to the character Mike, please reach out to someone.

“Have you noticed that TK’s acting weird lately?” Judd blinked absentmindedly at Marjan, barely looking up from his lunch.  
“What, weirder than normal?” Marjan rolled her eyes.  
“Don’t joke man.” She looked across the room to TK, who was picking at his food, seemingly uncaring about anyone else being in the room. 

It had started when Carlos and TK broke up. TK had been devastated, but it was a mutual agreement. They both felt that they were not in the right place at the time, and they still spoke daily, as far as she could tell. She admired their maturity, it was always nice when at least one of the boys was behaving. 

This was different though. He had mentioned that he was spending more time with a new guy, Mike, she recalled, but he said nothing about their relationship unless directly asked. To Marjan, that was a red flag. 

Owen always said that TK was a rather private person, and whilst he didn't often talk about personal issues he always let bits and pieces slip when he was with Carlos. Now his silence seemed… almost forced. 

Marjan had tried to ask him a few times, but he would refuse to listen. It was frustrating, but at the end of the day he was an adult. She couldn’t force him to talk to her. She felt slightly guilty talking to Judd, but she wouldn’t be any help to anyone if she let herself get too drained. 

Judd finally looked up at TK, giving a non-commital grunt.  
“He looks fine to me.” 

Marjan wondered why she even bothered. 

\--- --- --- --- ---

TK, meanwhile, was not doing fine at all. 

He had always needed to be taken care of. For as long as he could remember he was always with one guy or another. Alex frequently criticised him about being “needy,” so he tried to avoid that with anyone else. Particularly Carlos. 

If you asked, TK wouldn’t have a bad word to say about his ex. It might have stung a lot when Carlos suggested they have some time apart, but he appreciated his partners honesty. Carlos had been right, after everything he went through with Alex he wasn’t in the right place for a relationship, and until Carlos felt comfortable being openly gay, he needed to work on himself. That wasn’t to say that Carlos was closeted, it was the social anxiety aspect that was more concerning. 

Lo and behold, they had been apart for maybe a month before TK had needed someone else. He didn’t love himself enough to be alone. And, like a guardian angel, along came Mike. 

Mike was a good looking man, that was what attracted TK initially. The final sale was made by his sense of humour. Mike could make TK laugh, a feeling he missed, and being with him was just, well… fun. For all intensive purposes, Mike seemed perfect. 

They had been together for a few weeks when the first issue arrived. It had seemed so small at the time, all he did was pat TK’s ass when he didn’t really feel like it. It was a simple mistake, and he apologised so much when TK said he wasn’t up to it. 

Then it happened again. TK once again asked him not too, and Mike apologised again, he swore it would never happen again. Eventually TK gave up on telling him not to do it, after all it was hardly the biggest thing in the world. 

Then it started to get just a little worse. You barely even realised it was happening. 

“I made you tea, can I get a kiss?”

“I’ll pay for the takeout, you can make it up to me later.”

“I took out the trash, you owe me don’t you think?”

“If I do that, you are definitely having sex with me later.”

TK wasn’t against sex, but there was something that made him feel trapped about that. He could say no, but Mike would be less happy afterwards. Eventually TK would feel guilty and go ahead with it. Partners were meant to have sex anyway weren’t they?

That didn’t explain why he felt so crap though. Why he went to bed second guessing himself, why he sometimes made excuses about needing to leave early in the morning because he couldn’t bear to be in that room anymore. 

Yesterday though… that was where TK began to think that something was very wrong. 

He had only just gotten home from work, it had been a tough call. Everyone had lived, thank god, but he could see the dark memories traversing Judd’s face on the way back. He had been so worn out. 

\--- --- --- --- ---

“TK! You’re back.” TK dropped his coat to the floor, pulling Mike into a hug. “I made you dinner, I thought you might be tired.” TK smiled, pushing away any negative thoughts. He wasn’t feeling it tonight, he was sure Mike would understand. 

“Thanks honey. It smells amazing.” Mike grinned, and began regaling him with tales of how it was his mothers recipe, and how hard it was to get the onions for it. TK nodded along and smiled in turn. 

After dinner, they made it over to the couch, which TK slumped into gratefully. 

“Man I am stuffed, I could go to sleep right now.” Mike chuckled lightly.  
“I hope not, I have the perfect movie for tonight.” He picked up Pride, waggling it lightly, and TK’s heart warmed.  
“My favorite! You remembered.”  
“Of course I would, only the best for you.” Mike's voice was sincere. 

The movie had been going for a few minutes when TK felt the hand on his thigh. He gently moved it off, hoping Mike would take the hint, but he had no such fortune. 

“Hey babe, I’m sorry I had a really long day and I just… I’m not feeling it today.” Mike didn’t react for a second, before he murmured an ‘okay’. They went back to the movie. 

It was soon forgotten, until a dark shape caught TK’s attention. He shrieked and pulled his legs to his chest, he despised spiders. Mike laughed slightly, but his legs were up too. 

It was funny for a few moments, the pair alternating between shrieks of fear and bursting out laughing as they tried to get rid of the spider. Eventually, Mike managed to brave the journey to the hoover. Just to be safe, they threw the entire dirtbag into the bin outside after. 

Sat back down, TK still felt bubbles of laughter in his chest, and the pair let out the occasional giggle. 

“Man that was terrifying.” Mike exclaimed. TK laughed.  
“Thanks for getting rid of it, I don't know how i'll ever repay you.” The slender man joked. 

Mike smiled at him. 

“You could always let me touch you.” Immediately TK lost all laughter.  
“I already told you, i'm just not up for it today.” Mike hummed, and went back to the movie. 

TK couldn’t get that phrase out of his head. His chest felt cold, and whilst he tried to focus on the television nothing was going in. ‘Maybe you should let him, I mean it's not that bad.’ but he didn’t want it. He didn’t want that. 

“You're still thinking about it aren't you?” TK felt very tired all of a sudden, but at the same time his throat was dry and his heart rate increased.  
“Yes.”  
“C’mon, I did get rid of that spider for you, you owe me.”  
“Wouldn't that make me… kind of a whore?”  
“Yeah.”

The apartment wasn’t warm or fun anymore. TK didn’t like it at all. All his muscles were tense, and he wondered whether he should leave. The memories of earlier forced him to stay. He would just say no, and explain that he wasn't up to it. Yes, that's what he would do, he wasn’t making himself clear enough.

“Look I just… really don’t want to today. Maybe tomorrow.” Mike huffed, and wrapped his hand around TK’s thigh.  
“Maybe I should just do it without asking, then you can't say no.” TK felt a cold sweat break out on his neck. He stayed silent, unable to form words. 

The hand on his thigh tensed, to the point where it was painful. TK tried to move away now, but the grip was too firm. He wanted to cry. He considered trying to leave but he would be stuck outside at 2am, in a neighborhood he didn’t know. 

Eventually, TK couldn’t bear the tension anymore. He just wanted it to go back to normal, he just wanted to watch the movie. 

“Ok, go for it.”  
“Really, you’re sure?”  
“Yeah, just do it.”

It didn’t make things normal. It just made TK feel like he wanted to cry, like he might throw up, like he might break into pieces. Mike didn’t seem bothered at all. TK could still feel the sensation of a warm hand on his privates. When they went to bed, TK lay looking away from him, unable to sleep. The tears came soon enough. 

\--- --- --- --- ---

TK knew it wasn’t right. He felt dirty, he could still feel Mike’s hand on his-

But he had said yes. He hadn't wanted to, he had been uncomfortable and hated it, but he had said yes. That meant it was his fault didn’t it. He didn’t have work, but he spent the day in his room at his dad's place. He hadn't said anything and Owen hadn't noticed him acting strangely. 

For the most part, he alternated between crying and staring blankly at the wall. This time had been worse than normal. He ran his finger lightly over the bruises on his thigh. 

He asked Mike not to talk to him for a while, and Mike apologised for making him uncomfortable. 

Then the next day another apology came. 

Then another day.

Then another day. 

TK couldn’t help but miss him. He didn’t mean it surely, Mike wasn’t like that. They had so much fun together, and it's not like he said “No” exactly. Really it was his fault for not being clearer. 

So he went back.

Mike was an angel for the next few days. He was beside himself with guilt, assuring TK that it was a mistake, it would never happen again and he didn’t mean to hurt him. TK wanted to believe him. 

\--- --- --- --- ---

Things really did seem to change for a bit. They were doing alright for a month or so, before TK decided he couldn’t handle that feeling anymore. He decided that it was time to call it quits. 

When he got home that day, Mike wasn’t there. TK was relieved to have the extra time to think. He didn’t want to hurt Mike, maybe they could work things out and still be friends. The idea made him sick, but his heart clenched painfully at the idea of losing him. 

Mike didn’t get back until late. He came through the door, dropping his wet coat to the floor with a groan and collapsing onto the couch beside TK. 

“You wouldn’t believe the day I just had.” TK’s mouth was dry again.  
“We need to talk.”

Immediately Mike was sat up, piercing blue eyes boring into him.

“What happened.” The sharp smell of alcohol reached TK’s nose. TK braced himself, he needed to be clearer this time. 

“I don’t think this is working out. I want to break up. I really care about you, I just think it would be… better for us to spend some time apart.” Mike was silent. “We can stay friends, I really do love spending time with you I just… yeah.” 

Mike stayed silent for a few minutes, before he rose to his feet and started pacing. 

“Is it… because of that? Haven't I changed? I've been trying so hard, you owe me for that.” TK flinched at the word. It was like barbs in his skin. 

“You're fine, it's me.” Mike didn’t seem satisfied. TK was starting to feel scared again, that same sick feeling of being trapped. TK pushed the feelings down, and reached out to Mike. 

The touch must have startled the taller man, as he smacked TK’s hand away. It was firm, almost painful, but not quite. They were both silent for a moment. 

Then Mike slapped him. TK was so shocked that he didn’t even register the pain. He blinked a few times, the sting finally setting in. He couldn't think of the words to say. Mike’s eyes were harsh now, reaching into TK’s soul. 

“What the fuck did I do wrong, huh? You're the one who practically begged me to date you, and now you want to throw me out? Just like that?” Mike started to undo his belt, and TK immediately stepped back. This was a different kind of fear. 

Before he could try and escape Mike shoved him backwards. The back of his legs caught the couch and he fell backwards, hitting the ground hard. The belt caught him on his shoulder, and thanks to the adrenaline he was able to move his arms in front of him to protect his face. 

The belt was agony as it broke the skin on his forearms. The pain burned, and TK was sure it would be debilitating if he weren't so scared. He let out a cry, hoping Mike would come to his senses. 

It didn’t work, and he felt rough hands pulling him to his feet, before slamming him onto the couch. The wind was knocked out of him, and when he came back to his senses he felt his trousers being pulled at.

Panic erupted in his chest and he kicked out, managing to knock Mike backwards. Taking the chance, TK ran like hell. He didn’t grab any of his things on the way out, slamming the door behind him and not daring to look back. Being on the streets in the dark had to be better than this. 

He made it halfway down the road before he ran out of air and had to stop. To his relief, the street was empty. Too frightened to stay still, he kept walking. 

Fortunately, his phone was still in his pocket, and he wondered who to call. The adrenaline was wearing off not, and he was horrified and in pain, close to tears. He didn’t want to take a cab like this. 

He considered calling his dad, but he worried Owen would do what he always did, step in when he knew nothing about TK’s situation. He didn’t need to be avenged, he needed to be rescued. 

He went through a mental list of everyone he knew. He considered Carlos but that would be too much right now. Judd would be sympathetic but… no. Paul would be so kind but he would want to know what happened. 

Eventually he settled on Marjan, and was calling her number before he realised. 

“Hello?” She sounded tired. TK sobbed. He didn’t even mean to, he wanted to speak but he couldn’t get it through. “TK? What’s happened? Where are you? I'm on my way.” TK was able to choke out the road name, but he didn’t hang up. He couldn’t be alone here. 

Five minutes later, a car pulled up alongside him. Gratefully, he hopped in. 

Marjan seemed to sense that he didn’t want to talk, but she eyed the red welts on his arms, some were bleeding slightly still. The rain had washed a lot of it away. TK sobbed for the entire journey, giving a vague description. 

By the time they got to TK’s, Marjan looked ready to kill, and while he couldn’t blame her he was glad that she didn’t. Instead she helped him get to his room, giving gentle assurances and comforting him as she cleaned his injuries. 

\--- --- --- --- ---

Marjan was holding herself together better than she ever had in her life. She could cry about this later, for now TK needed her. 

When she got the call, she didn’t really need to ask. She knew something had happened with Mike, not what exactly but she knew. 

Part of her wished she had been able to help earlier, before it reached this point, but TK had pushed her away every time. 

Fortunately, the skin had only been broken in one place, so she didn’t have to do too much, but the angry welts were horrifically visible. There was also a slight bruise under his eye. 

It was coming up to dawn now, they had work in a few hours. Marjan decided to leave the choice of whether they were going into TK. The man in question seemed slightly more collected than he was earlier. He was held together by sellotape. 

Eventually TK spoke again, and he told her everything that had happened. Marjan did her best to remain passive, TK clearly needed to get this off his chest and by god if she wouldn't help him. 

By the end she was crying too. She wasn’t unfamiliar with that desperation, that begging sensation that told you to forgive them. That voice that told her she was wrong about what she was feeling. TK would not be alone in this. 

She wouldn’t let him be, not anymore.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The day after. TK really needs to learn to ask for help.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not as specific as the first chapter but everything that happened will be mentioned. TK is going through some stuff, but now he gets Carlos to help him through it.

In the end, TK decided to go into work. Marjan had just nodded and agreed to take him in, and TK appreciated that she trusted him. It was a hard choice, on one hand he could really use some time, but he didn’t want to think about it. 

If he stayed at home, he would only be able to think and feel everything. TK wanted things to be back to normal, what better way than going in. Besides, nobody else in the team would take a day off because of some, at best, minor injuries, he was more than able to do his job. 

Fortunately for the pair, Owen had spent the night… somewhere. TK couldn’t really remember what he said he was doing, he’d been so caught up in what he was about to start. It worked out well for him, he couldn’t imagine trying to explain this to his father. He probably would, but not just yet. 

They didn’t talk much as they got ready, Marjan had some spare clothes at the station and insisted that she didn’t need to go back to her place first, they could drive to work together. 

They barely spoke, TK didn’t feel up to it and Marjan had accepted that. He only broke the silence when they were just about to head out the door. 

\--- --- --- --- ---

“Marjan?”  
“You ok?”  
“Yeah, I just… thank you. For all of this.” She smiled at him, eyes glistening with an emotion TK couldn’t place.   
“Of course. I’m here whenever you need me. Thank you for trusting me.”

\--- --- --- --- ---

TK wondered how he was simultaneously thinking so much, yet somehow not at all. Phantom hands fluttered across his skin, and he shuddered every now and then. 

The memories pushed against him, clawing to get air, and each time he pushed them down as hard as he could. The worst part of it was how much he already missed Mike. Mike had meant so much to him, for a while there more than anyone else in the entire world, those feelings didn’t just go away. 

Mike had been funny, he was fun to be around and he did everything right. He was perfect.

Except he wasn’t. The more TK looked back, the more the warning signs stood out. “You owe me.” How many times had that been used? How many times had he pushed down his discomfort? TK felt sick. 

Had Mike ever been the man he thought he was? Did Mike even realise what he had done? Perhaps he didn’t know that he was pushing TK. Or maybe he did. TK’s head was throbbing almost as hard as his heart. 

By the time they arrived at work, TK couldn’t decide whether he had been in love with a wolf in sheep's clothing the entire time. 

\--- --- --- --- ---

The station was mostly empty, aside from Buttercup. The dopey dog bounded over to TK with reckless abandon, weaving between the pair's legs. TK let out a hollow laugh. Buttercup smiled. 

Eventually TK was able to make his way to the break room, looking through the cupboards for something edible. He didn’t really feel like eating but it was something to do. Marjan was making herself busy, but she was never far from TK. Normally he would hate being doted on like that but he felt like glass moments away from shattering. He couldn’t say he minded too much. 

Slowly, the rest of the gang trickled in. Mateo arrived first, still half asleep and providing much needed comic relief as he disastrously misread the labels on the breakfast burrito he had. Judd came in next, giving TK a swift pat on the back.

TK would be lying if he said he didn’t jump, but thankfully Judd was too preoccupied talking about date night to notice. Marjan eyed him from across the room and he gave a slight nod to say he was alright. It was only Judd, his brain was just being stupid. 

Paul and Owen arrived together, and it finally clicked what his father had been doing last night. He and Paul had gone to a breast cancer awareness run, something his father did every year. It had been especially prominent since his diagnoses, and subsequent remission. TK felt guilty that he didn’t go too. Things might be so different. 

Owen lit up when he saw TK, taking a break from talking about everything the run had done and how he felt so good having been involved.

“TK! Sorry you couldn’t make it last night.” Owen’s eyes narrowed briefly. “Is that a bruise?” TK’s heart leapt, he had almost forgotten. The slap had been mercifully low key in comparison to the bruises he had hidden beneath a long sleeved shirt. It was only really noticeable when you looked for it. TK felt oddly vulnerable. 

“Oh, yeah I tripped. You know me, always getting myself into trouble.” Owen didn’t look entirely convinced, but Judd asked him another question and all interest was lost. 

TK felt simultaneously rejected and relieved that aside from one or two glances everyone had believed his lie. Marjan only watched with concern written across her face. She had understood that he wasn’t really in the mood to tell everyone what happened yet, but he knew it would be unfair to put it all on her. 

Fortunately, the buzzer rang to signal a fire, and all further discussion was abandoned. 

\--- --- --- --- ---

When they got back, TK checked his phone and almost gagged. Mike had sent a few messages, all alternating between begging for forgiveness and blaming the alcohol and a long day. TK felt trapped, too scared to turn it off in case someone needed him, too afraid to keep it on. He settled for shoving it in his pocket, tensing every time it vibrated. 

He decided to take a break from it all and try to sleep in the dorms. He had barely been able to sleep last night, so he could use the catch up. 

He awoke with a yelp, arms raised defensively before he connected the dots. His whole body trembled, and he could feel sweat running down his back. Judd sat across from jhim, eyes wide and alarmed. Before he could even speak TK made a swift exit to the nearest bathroom and was revisited by whatever he had been able to choke down this morning. 

When he crawled back out, Judd was still waiting. Rather than criticising him, the older man instead offered him a clean shirt and a glass of water. TK accepted gratefully, turning away as he changed to keep his arms out of sight. The welts were still painfully visible, with dark bruising stretching along his forearm. 

Judd didn’t ask about what the dream was. TK chalked it up to the man being sympathetic, Judd had been the victim of a few bad dreams himself when the rest of the team were trying to sleep. Before that could change, TK murmured a quick thank you and left. 

He had been hidden away in the gym for an hour or so when Paul and Mateo barged in, slamming the door open and making TK nearly flatten his leg with a dumbbell. TK caught a glimpse of a phone in Paul’s hand before he realised what he had forgotten. 

The cold sweat was back, and TK felt oddly guilty, though he wasn’t sure what for. Paul spoke first. 

“Uh, TK, I was cleaning up in the dorms and I heard your phone buzzing. I only meant to pick it up and try and find you but it turned on and…” The man trailed off. 

TK knew it was a simple mistake on Paul’s part, but he couldn’t help feeling like the man had seen something he shouldn’t. Mateo spoke next.

“Has someone been going after you or something? We don’t want to pry, it's just… those messages were concerning.” TK couldn’t make eye contact. He rose to his feet and grabbed the phone from Paul. 

“Thanks for bringing it. I gotta go.” And go he did. 

\--- --- --- --- ---

The next hiding place had almost worked, up until Owen found him. It wasn’t that he was hiding, per say, he just didn't want to be seen or heard so it was irritating that he couldn’t get away. Owen was giving him that look, the one he usually reserved for when TK was talking about Alex or Carlos. 

“Hey TK, you ok son?” TK nodded blankly, hoping his father would lose interest. No such luck. “Judd told me that you weren't well earlier, and then Paul told me that someone was sending you stuff and… well im worried son.”

“I’m fine dad.” Owen hummed apprehensively.   
“Marjan said a similar thing.” TK was glad for his friend's kindness, even if she didn’t wholly agree with him. “I know I didn’t ask at the time, and maybe I should have, but you were tense at work yesterday. You’ve been acting... Off for a while now. If somethings wrong, you know you can talk to me.”

TK couldn’t help some tears that slid down his cheeks, and Owen pulled him into a gentle hug. Before he knew it the tears had shifted into sobs, and he couldn’t stop himself. Owen stroked his back gently and offered soothing words. Eventually TK was able to pull himself together enough to talk. 

“I broke up with Mike.” Owen’s eyes rounded with sympathy.   
“Oh TK, i'm so sorry.” Then, his eyes went dark. A thumb was run over the bruise on his cheek. “He did this, didn't he.” TK couldn’t speak so he just dated straight forward. Owen made a few sharp breaths. “Did he do anything else?”

TK froze for a second before he reached for his sleeves. He pulled them up slowly, trying to not make the injuries sting too much. Owen was terrifyingly silent. TK pulled his sleeves back down again, more tears breaking through as he whimpered desperate apologies, for what he didn’t know. 

Owen just hugged him again. “I’m gonna kill him.” TK was hesitant, but the cat was out of the bag and he couldn’t stand the feeling like he was keeping a secret anymore. 

“He didn’t listen to me. There was a spider that he got rid of, and he kept saying I owed him and that he should be allowed to… touch me, and I didn’t want him to but he just kept pushing and pushing and I just told him to do it because I needed him to stop and-” he couldn’t get the rest of the words out over his choking sobs. 

Owen just kept hugging him, possibly crying himself, TK wasn’t overly aware. 

“You didn’t consent.” TK was confused. That's exactly what he did. “He pushed you into that, he didn’t give you a choice. He would never have taken no for an answer. I’m guessing that you were in an impossible situation, anyone would have done the same thing. But you didn’t consent to that. He violated you.”

Finally, the sobs wore down and TK was left feeling more exhausted than he had ever been in his life. Owen stayed with him the entire time. 

“Marjan knows doesn’t she?”  
“Yeah, I told her not to tell anyone though.”  
“Ok, that's fine. You’re ok TK. Come on, I’m going to take you home.” TK shook his head firmly. 

“No, you don’t need to, I'm fine.”  
“No, you aren't TK. Look if… if you don’t want me coming with you, then maybe I can call someone else. How about Carlos?”

TK flinched. He hadn't thought about Carlos during all of this. Carlos, the man who had been there for him through everything. ‘Mike was there for you too,’ a voice whispered in his head. ‘You didn’t think he could do it either.’ TK shook his head. 

Despite everything, he needed to see Carlos. 

“Yeah, Ok.” Owen nodded, relieved, before he grabbed his phone and made the call. TK knew they would need to talk about this, but he was glad that his father wasn’t pushing him too hard at the moment. 

They stayed like that until Carlos called to let them know he was outside. Owen hadn't told him much, only that TK needed him. The young man felt warmed that Carlos was willing to come all this way, on his day off no less. 

\--- --- --- --- ---

TK wondered if he had missed his calling as a spy, managing to avoid running into the rest of the team on the way toi the car. Owen had assured him that he would tell everyone that TK had to go home because he was under the weather, he would say no more. It was TK’s story to tell. 

Carlos seemed to sense that something was off when TK got into the car, eyes still red from tears. They made it halfway to Carlos’ apartment before he finally had to ask. 

“What happened TK?” TK didn’t take his eyes off the road. Even though he and Carlos were not together it felt oddly like he had cheated on him, or at least that's what the feeling of guilt and disgust wanted him to think. 

“I was with someone.” It was Carlos’ turn to be silent for a moment.   
“Okay. That’s fine isn’t it?”  
“He hit me”  
“Oh.” 

They didn’t speak again until they got to the flat, and Carlos held the door open for TK to come through. The smell of the apartment brought up old memories, great memories. With gentle guidance from Carlos he sat down on the couch. 

TK was lost in his thoughts when a cup of hot chocolate was placed under his nose, and he took it with a warm smile. His stomach was rolling with anxiety, so he put it aside for now. For just a split second he felt painful longing for Mike, he would have done the same thing. 

“Everything reminds me of him.” Carlos nodded, face neutral. TK knew his boyfrie-regular friend well enough to know that he was using every bit of police in him to remain that way. “Is that bad? He hurt me, he pushed me into doing things when I didn’t want to,” he choked back tears, eyes downcast. “But I already miss him so much. Maybe it's not too late to go back but…”

It wouldn’t be normal, he finished silently. From that first night he wanted things to be like they were, but it would never be normal. He could go back, they could pretend it was fine, but that wouldn’t change what happened. TK would still remember everything. As desperately as he wanted normal back, it would never be normal again.

TK felt more alone and betrayed than he ever had. Even Alex hadn't been this bad. 

“I’m sorry.” To TK’s shock, Carlos was crying. “I’m so sorry you had to go through that.” This time it was TK who pulled his ex into a hug. “What do you need me to do? If you need to talk about it, if you want to not think about it for a while, if you want me to go over there right now and arrest him, I’ll do it.”

Typical Carlos. So gentle but so fierce with the people he loves. 

“Thanks but I think… I know that I will need to talk about it, but it's too much right now. Can we do something else?” Carlos nodded, pulling his DVD collection from under the couch. On top of it was Pride, and TK felt sick. 

It was only hitting now just how much Mike had taken from him. All the memories, all the inside jokes, everything and everywhere they had gone together was ruined. It was tainted. Would he ever be able to watch his favorite movie again without thinking about what had happened?

Carlos, ever observant, seemed to make the connection. He slid the case back under the couch. 

“How about the lion king?” TK brushed away tears and nodded, pushing down tears. The movie started up and TK was able to relax a little bit. 

Mike might have hurt him, hell he might have permanently damaged him, but Mike would not take everything from him. Carlos was not Mike, Carlos actually cared about him. 

By the end of the movie the couple had gotten to talking again. 

“Do you think we made a mistake breaking up?” TK asked, voice soft. Carlos thought for a moment.   
“I think we did what we needed to. I think we did the best that we could with what we had. Maybe we could have discussed it more, but ultimately I think we did what we must.” TK nodded.   
“Do you miss it?”  
“Yes, I do. I guess I kind of feel like maybe I could have helped you avoid all of this.” 

TK grunted, irritated.  
“You didn’t do anything. It was my fault, there were so many warning signs that I didn’t want to see.”  
“Maybe, but that doesn’t mean it was your fault. You saw the best in him, and he took advantage of that. You aren't omniscient TK, you couldn’t have seen this coming.”

They were quiet for a few moments.   
“I still miss you too. I think… I mean if you were up for it I would like to give it another go.” Carlos’ expression was sad. 

“I would too. I would love to, but I don’t think it’s the best thing at the moment.” When TK’s face fell the man continued. “I don’t mean I never want to! I just mean that… you went through something really traumatic. I would never push you into doing anything, if you want to start dating again and we take it so slow that you barely even know it's moving then that is fine by me. I just don’t want you to rush into something because you feel like you have to.”

“I think you might be right. I don’t think I can be alone though.” Carlos thought for a second.   
“You don’t have to. I am here for you, no matter what label there is on what we are. How about we just take a minute, let yourself have a few days to decide what you want. There's no rush, and I will be here whenever you need me.” 

It wasn’t an ideal answer, but TK thought Carlos was right.   
“That sounds good. How about another movie?” Carlos grinned.   
“I was thinking the exact same thing. Rock paper scissors for it?” TK smiled back, a little lighter than he had been before.   
“You're on.”


End file.
